just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
