i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
