first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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