they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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