The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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