She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this boner is exhausting
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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