If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize