Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
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I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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