He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
