no, he came in my armpit
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The Olympian is in my bed
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
