I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
