just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
