I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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