Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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