i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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