I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
