That's intense
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
