i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
