Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just pee around me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
