thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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