I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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