worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
