paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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