So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
