Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
