if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
