and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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