so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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