Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
