3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you had me at cake vodka
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize