that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
