Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
