I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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