She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
