Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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