I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
