Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
