wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
