you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
