like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She tied me up with her honor cords...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
