Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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