he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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