yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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