i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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