He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
