i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
