You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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