ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
