hotel room ftw
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Randomize
