I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
