Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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