somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
