He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
