tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
