butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
