It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
