I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
