In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
