I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
