There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
