ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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