Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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