Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize