i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
