and you said cock pushups were impossible
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
