ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
