You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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