But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
