Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
